Little Green Apples-O.C Smith-1968

Little Glass Heart

Mid-year I went through a break-up of a relationship that devastated me - not that I don't understand most break ups are devastating, or that I think mine was more devastating than yours - but to get to the next blog, I have to muddle through this one...

PREFACE - An Apple a Day

PREFACE (I know, blogs usually don't have a preface, but then one does)

2008ish 

A few years ago, while working at the Temple, I was finally able to put my design skills to use designing lobby presentations for High Holy Days, Shabbat Services, Kristallnacht, Yiddish Words & Phrases and a number of other subjects related to Judaism. I loved doing the research and learning so many new things.  Being a "non-Jew" I worried that my my work wouldn't be as true to the faith and the Jewish people as I desired it to be. I looked at Jewish Art, read the Prayer books and even listened to the Rabbi's Shabbat Services (as it was also my job to convert those files and save them on CD's for the congregants.) But more than anything I wanted the content and presentation to be meaningful to the viewers. I wanted to evoke an emotion from them - even if it was on a subject they understood and lived daily. I hoped that MY view, as an "outsider" would bring something more to light for them and it would become more meaningful in any small way.

As wonderful as it was to design the presentations and other marketing materials, I also had a lot of administrative work to complete. I found this to be mechanical, tedious work, best suited for someone "Left-Brained", not me, a creative and free spirit who particularly care to conform to societies groups, including that of an "artist". I am individualistic and feel constrained with policies and procedures and having my brain cluttered with the necessary format of a business letter or how to do the perfect mail merge. That information just doesn't sit well within my head - so I don't retain it. Try as I may, and as important as that information may be, I am just not the type of individual that should be doing that work.

One day I was so exasperated at the postage machine! I was trying to figure out why it wouldn't seal, after realizing I had just labeled 348 envelopes with the incorrect postage amount and stuffed them with letters to the congregants with the incorrect address format (It's THREE hard returns YVONNE! THREEEEEEE!!!)when I blurted out to Heather "All I want is an Apple Orchard! I just want to sit on the side of the road barefooted, feel the sun and rain on my face and sell my apples....maybe sing and play my dulcimer for people as they pick.... but I am tired of papers and formats and postage machines!" That thoughtful emotion came out of nowhere. I didn't consciously form that thought in my head. I really had never thought about owning an apple orchard. I mean I can barely keep a houseplant alive.

But once those words hit the air and they resounded in my own ears, I began thinking about how nice that would actually be. Yeah, an apple orchard. I have a dream. A real-doable-dream. I am sure I had dreamed before as a child, as to what I would be when I "grew up", but lately I couldn't remember any of those dreams. Life as an adult is hard, sometimes it totally gobbles up our dreams, or we get side-tracked, or we just plain don't know how to realize our dreams or have the resources or the people supporting and encouraging us.

fastforward 2010 - AN APPLE A DAY

I work with a great group of people in Marketing. Jason, who recently lost lots and lots of pounds, has  encouraged the rest of us, by his example,  to take better care of our bodies.  It all started with the apples he would bring in daily. He cuts them up and offers a piece to each of us, which we would greedily partake. I can't remember ever enjoying an apple more than those he would share. Soon we were all bringing in an apple as well and we would each get a slice or two of everyone's apples - so in essence we each ate a different apple everyday. It kind of became a game of "what-type-of-apple-who-would-bring-in" - we've sampled Galas, Granny Smiths, Honeycrisps, Jonathan, Fuji, and Pacific Gold.....to name a few...and we each have our favorites. You know, I never even realized there were so many different types of apples or how different their flavors and textures are - or how the sharing of these apples would keep my dream "In-My-Face" on a daily basis.

Other dreams began puddling around this one, reminding me of the importance of knowing what you want and not settling for anything less.

finding HAPPINESS, keeping PEACE, continued LEARNING, living LIFE (not watching everyone else from the sideline), sharing INTIMACY.....all things, that to me, the thoughtful desire for this apple orchard represents.

Owning an Apple Orchard? It is a far-fetched dream - granted - but still, it is mine. I haven't put any particular goals or objectives into action, haven't written a business plan, don't know the cost of purchasing land or even if Ohio is a good place to lay the seed. I do know that the sun shining on my face, with my toes in the dew-covered spring grass, while I strum out "Peace Train" as you gather a basket of Honeycrisps, sounds like a beautiful reality.

This is my story....