Time - Passing of, Existing Within, Losing Track of and Wasting....

There is so much you can do with time!

I really don't like that I have let time pass by and I haven't documented it.
A month isn't a long time but a lot has happened in the past four - five weeks.
A lot, situationally and emotionally.
I'd like to rewind and blog about everything I've missed - but I am one of those people who has to write in the moment - or the emotion has to have been so very strong - positive or negative - that I can still pull from it and place words with it so you and I can really understand the situation.
It's not just for your observation and judgment of my life - its so I can read my growth as a person and learn from watching myself...from here on the outside - after the fact.

So here goes a quick run down of the past five weeks - cryptic as this is going to be - its the best I can do at the moment (something my life seems to have been made up of..."best-i-can-do-moments")

TICKING AWAY THE MOMENTS THAT MAKE UP THE DULL DAY.
Birthday party with GueSTS, MuSic, DRiNK and DaNCe. Seeking capacity to forgive. Gaining confidence on the job front. Giving Forgiveness. KICKING AROUND ON A PIECE OF GROUND IN YOUR HOMETOWN. Realizations. YOU RUN AND RUN. Possesing Gratitude. Seeking my PuRPoSe. Honesty. ALWAYS seeking my PuRPoSe. WAITING FOR SOMEONE OR SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU THE WAY. What IS my PuRPoSe? Laundry. Thankful. Snow. Family. Missed friends. Snow. Do I have a PuRPoSe? Truth. Rear-ended. 6 pounds gone. Reconnections. Loss. 3 pounds gone. Snow. TIRED OF LYING IN THE SUNSHINE STAYING HOME TO WATCH THE RAIN. Disease and surgery. Old friends-new acquaintances? Flirty? Yes. FLIRTY. Welcome Back 1 pound! Of course, you have a PuRPoSe! Fear. Steadfast. Condemnation. THOUGHT I HAD SOMETHING MORE TO SAY. Diligent. SELFLESS. Determined. Weariness. NEVER SEEM TO FIND THE TIME. Curious. Excitement. Texting, calling, emailing COMMUNICATING. STUCK. Change. SNOW and ICE. Dinner? hmmm? DINNER. Anxious. Excitement.
CALLS THE FAITHFUL TO THEIR KNEES
TO HEAR THE SOFTLY SPOKEN MAGIC SPELL.

It was just about a year ago I decided to completely stop hitting the snooze button. Alarms had been going off forever and I just hit snooze. There is way too much going on in this life to continue hitting "Snooze". Who and What I have missed already by doing that? Who knows? but I'm not missing anything else anymore.

Life is so damn beautiful.
People are so beautiful.

Lessons come hard to me - but they stick.
Our lives are made up of time - one moment overlapping another.
A rainbow of emotions.

I have learned that the only moment that matters is the one I am existing in right now.
Not what happened yesterday
or what may happen tomorrow.
Its important that I am here now.

I want to feel time emerge from behind me, pass over my shoulder and watch it forge ahead into another dimension.